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Why hello!
It’s me, your hostess with the mostest, the original double entendre,
Valet Parker.

Background 2


I know this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you how alluring and beautiful I am and why I’m not like all the other girls, but that honestly seems monotonous. I’d rather be honest and tell you I’m an acquired taste. Although I am hot and curvy and inked and just the right amount of dirty, I’m also the perfect woman for you if you just want to nerd out and enjoy sarcastic remarks and inappropriate gifs. In other words, I’m totally bodacious but yet hilarious and super humble if you can’t already tell. I’m also extremely passionate about not starving to death, but I am not cool enough to eat sushi if I was going to die from starvation.


In case you're wondering,

I look fantastic in leather and am quite the cunning linguist when it comes to in-depth conversations and other things, if you catch my drift. I make the perfect companion for a night out on the town, the ideal lucky charm if you want to gamble, or perhaps you’d like a quiet dinner with a side of dessert to go, wink-wink. 


Alternatively, maybe you’d rather skip the foreplay, and we take it to the room, and once the door closes, our Vegas escapade begins. 


I know you’re just sitting there reading this peculiar bio, thinking about how hot nerds are wild behind closed doors, and you know what they say about girls with glasses. I have to tell you you’re not wrong. So why are you still reading this? I know it must be awkward to have an erection from an introduction. Let me help you with that head-over to my encounters page and peruse and then head to my contact form and fill it out. I promise you won't be sorry. 




Valet Parker


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